06 janeiro, 2014

Retrospective and new desires

Postado por Camila Rafaela Felippi às 1/06/2014 02:40:00 PM
Happy 2014! A very strong happy, because I hope this year will be so happy until his last day. The last year I can't define. It was one of the hardest, but it was also productive and important. If I analyze the downside, it was the worst of my life (and still has reflexes). Well, I had already lost my maternal grandfather, but I was only six years old and when my parents said he went to live with God, I wasn't sad. And in 2013, my other grandfather died. I say "nonno", because we are Italian. I remember so well the last time I talked to him and was on the phone, on his birthday. He had an eye surgery and I called to wish happy birthday and asked how he was. He said he wasn't feeling well and he was going back to the doctor.
My grandfather. I miss you forever ):
And in less than five minutes I had already given bye on the phone. And actually it was a goodbye. Fifteen days later I was at the mall with my boyfriend when my mother called and said that my father took him to the doctor because he wasn't ok. I didn't worry so much, since the problem was just in his leg, as my mom told me. And the next morning I received the news that he died. I can't explain, I never felt a strong pain that way and I couldn't believe it. So, I still had the strength, because I knew he was in a better place and that he was never going to feel some pain. But all that strength was over when I saw my grandmother. I just wanted God to relieve her pain. My whole family, gathered there, hurting and crying. I hadn't some strength and I just wanted everyone to stay well. And it's hard to accept that I have to feel it again, again and again when someone I love leaving for paradise. I believe in God and that when we die our soul goes and lives happily ever in paradise, as the scriptures. I don't know how people who have no faith can face the problems, the pains. Pe. Décio also gone. He was the director at the college I studied and certainly one of the most cultured and dignified people I met. He had an enthusiasm that I never saw anyone. I sang in the choir of the Church just because I liked to go to church when he was celebrating. After, he became ill, with cancer, and he battled life for years. In 2008 I saw him and I believe that he was twenty pounds below the weight. After he recovered, he was again ill, and recovered again... Sometimes he recorded videos (like this) in the hospital to communicate with students, because he wanted to visit us and he couldn't. Furthermore, some pets also gone. My cat Pompom disappeared earlier this year and never came back, like Laila.  

I think they are dead, because there are human beings who give poison to pets. But I still believe they will come back someday. My rabbit Shake died. He wasn't good and I didn't have time to take him to the vet. And lastly, my hamster Pita. She had an abscess in her ear and there wasn't a veterinarian specializes in exotic animals to medicate her, so I talked to a veterinary student, who spoke with a teacher and indicated remedies. Three months later she died. That day was the coldest in the year, it snowed in the city (it never happens). I got her in my hands all the day to reheat her. Later she died, looking at me with the left paw stretched upward. These events made ​​2013 the worst year of my life. I had never lost so many loves in so little time. I hope with all my faith in 2014 nobody leave me this way.
The upside of the year were many. I started college (and so I created the blog). I'm very happy with my progress and I know I made the right choice. I'm also glad I don't have to see some people I saw in high school and literally let down my self-esteem. But I miss the college, my true friends and also my teachers.What makes me happy too is my college class. We are all in girls and nobody bothers. The classes yields, the teachers don't low the note because of mess and the concentration goes racing. What a dream, right? Another good thing was the recovery of my cat, Mingau. He was hit and almost died. Now he is fine! Other loves also entered in my life: My new hamster Jujuba and my new dog Joy, they made me happy again. I spent wonderful moments with my boyfriend. I gained a lot, but I also lose weight. It was because I ate a lot with him, as pizza, hot dogs and chocolate. We traveled to Paraguay and went to the beach, we biked and watched movies. I love him so much! Last year we completed two years of dating, in October. Other good thing that happened was the contest of Olia. 
My boyfriend and me. I love you <3
Well, I won. I finally won a contest after so many I tried! Anyway, the year was worth it. The pain, one day, will disappear and just good memories will stay. 
What I'm asking for 2014 is much peace, love, strength, hope and opportunity. Bad things, deaths, tragedies and pain stay faaaaaar, faaaaar away from all people. I hope college is better (and will be) and I get a good job. I want to realize my dreams, for example, to know Anahi. If she come to Brazil to do book signing, I want to be there. Soon I will take the driver's license. I'm scared to drive yet and the driving classes are coming. I know I'll get perfect moments with my boyfriend and I'm very grateful to have him by my side. At long last, that 2014 is a good year for everyone!

6 comentários:

Layd de Paz on 1/06/2014 3:26 PM disse...

Oi Camila perda sempre vamos ter mas a graça de Deus aprendemos a lidar com elas ,eu desejo pra você todo sucesso neste ano e muita paz ..
Deixando aqui meu carinho e paz.

SG on 1/06/2014 7:38 PM disse...

All your wishes and dreams will be fulfilled in 2014. Camila, I guarantee.

Nal Pontes on 1/06/2014 10:10 PM disse...

Oi, Camila, é dificil passar por momentos de perdas, Duas dores que mais machuca agente. A dor da perda de alguém q se ama. e a dor da injustiça. Mas todos nós passamos um dia. Quantas perdas não foi? Esperamos e desejamos que o ano de 2014 seja diferente que ao terminar vc some apenas os
ganhos. Lindo o seu avô. Que os momentos vividos com o seu avô, supere a eterna saudades e torne numa deliciosa lembrança. bjsss

Lisa Isabella Russo on 1/06/2014 10:17 PM disse...

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. It can be so devastating to lose those that we love, I am sorry. I hope the new year will bring you much joy.

Tracy Terry on 1/07/2014 12:15 PM disse...

Oh my goodness, this really is a bitter sweet post full of both loss and happiness. I hope 2014 is a good year for you and yours and sees dreams come true.

Tara Tyler on 1/08/2014 3:26 PM disse...

what a lovely post. sad for your loss, but i appreciate your mature perspective. and congratulations on winning! you are a beautiful person and i hope the perfect job finds you soon!

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